Anxiety

5:18 PM


OVERWHELMING. SCARED. EXHAUSTED. SAD. HURT. EMBARASSED.  FEAR.  RUN. HELD BACK. NOT LIVING FULLY. UNHAPPY. WORRIED. NEVER ENDING THOUGHTS. SPIRALING. CRIPPLING. SUFFOCATING. TOO MUCH TALKING. TOO LITTLE TALKING. SICK TO MY STOMACH. SLEEPLESSNESS. 

All of those are just a slight blurb of what many people deal with DAILY. I have spoken of Anxiety before on my blog but never to the extent, I have the urge to now.

I am in a place in my life where I like to tell it how it is. The good, the bad and the anxiety. It is what it is. I know that is a sad way to word it. What I mean by "It is what it is" is that I have accepted this and now it is time to face it. When I can at least.

Most people go through life having normal anxiety, a healthy amount. The fight or flight amount. Others go through life with a crippling painful amount where someday's are difficult to even function at all. I have been living like this for years now......
I don't like it. I can't fix things I can only do my best day by day to survive.

I guess I am wanting to post this since I am not a big shot social media girl like many who have come out with their anxiety stories. I am just like you. They are just like us.  There are differences in all of us but we who have this are suffering and some don't have support.

As I write this, I question everything I type, the words, the way I am coming across, and I think, I cannot breathe, should I even be posting this? Will anyone read this? Will I delete this before I hit publish? 

EXHAUSTING.

Sometimes, everything is too much and there are times you need to just cut everything off an focus on yourself.
I will not write a giant novel today, instead, I will share a new app I am trying out.
I have been told meditation is amazing, how Buddhist spend hours a day meditating and how much it can benefit everyone for so many different reasons. I have a hard time with it but I have given it a try on and off over the years. 
I really like listening to Jason Stephenson on Youtube. His calm demeanour, voice and words help calm me down sometimes.  I recommend checking him out.

I also have found this app called Headspace. I am just using the free version, but I am enjoying the quick few minuate meditations because let's face it, it's damn hard!

My Sweet old photo of my kitty who has kidney disease </3

That's all I will write for now.....

Anyone care to share anything?


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